I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
