You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
