You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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