Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
