reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
