even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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