Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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