well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
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