Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
