I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize