I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
