just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
