i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
