did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
