I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
