Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize