I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
