i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
