You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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