You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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