i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
