I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
