I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
