ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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