Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
