Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
