how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
