I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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