If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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