tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Randomize
