Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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