I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize