It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
