No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
