she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
