I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
