I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
