His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I love having hate sex.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
