wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
