the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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