Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
