hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
