I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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