I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
