Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
