i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize