it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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