Can Purell be used as lube?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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