The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
