So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
