Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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