Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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