at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
