i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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