sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
