my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
