we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
