Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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