I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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