You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
