When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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